June 2018 Archive

We all have Fear. I’ve made mistakes in the past eighteen months. Ha ha Hubby would say the last two years. He’s better with numbers and spatially. I’m good with the lingo. Learning three languages at once. And I always go with what Hubby says. He’s more reliable on facts though I have managed to raise five children and continue to. They’re annoying me being glued to the screens and two have pre-teen acne and I can’t get ’em to brush their hair! The hair! But all are healthy. And as I think I have said before, in the past, I have switched from booze to food to relationships. But although the deer and the skunks and the moles regularly turn up, so does humour. Oh and the gophers. Gophers suck the most as they eat the roots of trees. Moles just dig up your lawn.
As a good friend of mine once said. “Any day above ground is a good day”.
So sometimes I feel like I am going to get eaten up with worry and it just comes back to basics! Eat well; eat lots of protein and worry less.

And laugh a little. That’s what will see you into later years.

Oh and we get a Space Force! Courtesy of Trump.

New Zealand? On the baby watch. Everybody is asking the hard question: When does Happy Spangler take over.

I’ll leave with this:

What’s the difference between a bachelor and a married man? Bachelor comes home, checks out what’s in the fridge & goes to bed. Married man comes home, checks out what’s in the bed & goes to the fridge.

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What the fuck is it with all these old buggers offing themselves? Jayzus, Joseph and Mary. I had to sledge back a cup of Suicide News after Kate Spade and now that canny prick and restaurateur Bourdain is gone. Proof that you never get too old to feel around for a noose. But what the? You’re old rich and successful and that is reason enough to bite the cyanide? Fucking pricks these days have no stamina. Everything and nothing. It started with Robin Williams and now it’s a fucking trend. Every time I drive through the Robin William’s tunnel I have to worry I’ve got early onset dementia. Lets not build a monument to everyone that hangs themselves, even if they’re fucking funny.
I’ve had to deal with a stroke that paralysed me at the age of 31. Fought my fucking way back, largely due to training as a model and a journalist and I’m not going to boohoo #MeToo, Fought Addiction, (Haw, Haw, it’s never addiction if you’re not drinking alone) and generally steppin’ on sticky shit as I pass through the house with five kids on soda and do I want to open throat the pill bottle? No. So what is going through their heads? They’re leaving teenagers to flail around and carry deep-seated trauma throughout their lives instead of manning the fuck up and dealing with the life changes that accompany getting older.
We’re all in it together. Be kind and be conscious.

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Originally this post was going to be  be called “Parasols for Plants. Or “Sharpen the Knives and clean your closets” More on this. I’ll give you a clue: It’s what gives meaning to lives and pulls you back from the brinks. Housekeeping and gardening.
And then I realised I was dicking around because I’m a true procrastinator. The nature of a true procrastinator is not just putting shit off the point it bores you and your workmates to tears. It’s being an “Always Gunna”. Always Gunna pull off this, or that Momentous Kick Arse Move and finally prove to yourself and your Birth family  you’re not the no-hoping mong Burger you and they suspected you were all along 🙂 Family right? What’s the saying? Can’t live with them and can’t convince them to take a long sleep in a volcano 🙂 Or as one brother said to another recently and one of the best sledges I have ever heard: “Stick a million corgis up your arse and fight your way to the moon”!
And that there is true familial love.

You never quite get there. In your own estimation.
It’s the big achievement, promotion or making a shit ton of money. For me it’s seeing myself as a dedicated writer. And it’s not fucking rocket science. It’s just sitting and doing it. A little at the time. I realized recently I was still looking for outside approval.
Jayzus, no more. I’m just going to write a little every day. Whether it’s a Facebook post a blog post or finishing the book I occasionally dust off. I just need to get the words out. Otherwise hubby gets it all. And I quizzed hubby recently: “Do you deliberately leave the room when I start to speak. His answer: “Yes sometimes, when I’ve heard it all before.

As Kermit said: “It’s not easy being Green”. So he goes bowling and I do the gardening. Which at this time of the year sometimes involves putting umbrellas over my flowering plants to shade. And learning to delegate. So I get the boys to sharpen the knives and clean the closets.

The second side note, Just so I can get to publishing. :

I’ve made another mistake. I’ve been reading the book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Addictive People.”

I realize now that I should have been reading:
“The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.”

Boom boom!

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