Tips for surviving the festive season Part One

Thanksgiving  came and went in our household  with a surprising lack of drama and aggravation. We must be doing something right. Our household of seven is always teetering on the edge of  minor disasters, culinary and otherwise.

It  appeared as if disaster was imminent from the first moment I opened my eyes this Thanksgiving morn. At the very least, a degree of discomfort and uncertainty loomed.
I woke, as I often do, with my baby daughter’s fingers lodged in my nostrils.
“Mommy Got Nose”, pronounces my two year-old daughter, Kaelyn.



I nod, and lamely say, “Umgrh”!
Then, I mistakenly attempt to dislodge her digits from my nostrils  by a combination of shaking my head and employing the only Karate move I have ever learned.
Translated to a horizontal position, this ploy is surprising ineffective and leaves me with sciatica.

Sustaining other minor injuries, I am infinitely  grateful when Kaelyn withdraws her fingers, in order to provide exploratory surgery to a random Teddy bear.
Then, ignoring the twinge in my neck, I examine my still-beleaguered nasal cavity and attempt to retrieve what I guess to be a Lego Mini-Figures hat, accompanied by a Lego Creator headlamp.
I am right on the money. Our Minecraft indoctrinated seven year old shouts, “Mommy is Mining”, as I remove and place the offending bits of plastic on the bedside table.
Waving her hands in the air, my unrepentant and gleeful daughter yells, “Mommy Got Boobies”!
Mr Seven year-old grabs the excavated Lego and leaves for the toy room to search for more Lego.
Kaelyn and I then enjoy some Mommy/Daughter time together beside my slumbering husband.
Kaelyn currently enjoys naming body parts. We run through all the body parts that we can think of. We spend a lot of time on the torso and genitals. We decide that Mommy doesn’t have a penis but several of her brothers do.
Deciding I have the patience of Saints, I then poke my still-snoring Other Half:

“Happy Thanksgiving”, I shout:

“Umgrh”, he mutters imperviously.

Toying with the idea of bestowing the  special delivery of a Lego Mini-figures Hat and Lego Creator headlamp upon hubby, I decide to be the bigger person. Gleefully occupying the  higher moral ground, I clamber out of bed while Kaelyn cuddles up to her slumbering dad.

The sun is just arriving in our front lounge. It’s frosty outside.

Frosty baubles

Frosty outside but warm inside and nothing warms the cockles more than when the rest of the family emerges from their bedrooms.

My husband lumbers into the living room.

You wouldn’t believe what Kaelyn stuck up my nose while I was sleeping”, he says.

“Try me”? I say innocently.
“Do you think we need to get some Lego for the boys for Christmas”, I say.


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