What really went on in the Labour Caucus stays in the Labour Caucus.
Unfortunately I can’t bring you any inside goss on what went on on Tuesday, but I can see into the future and I predict the following plotline for Cunliffe:
Cunliffe quits Labour and decides to rough it with the commoners by getting a job in the local department store: Smith and Caughey. He becomes a sales assistant in “Housewares”.
After mucking in with the commoners he re-discovers his special powers. King, Mallard and co visit the department store one day to taunt him. He comes to his senses:
Film transcript from Army of Darkness 1992:
Ash (Cunliffe) to Presland: “I thought about staying”.
“They offered me the chance to lead them, to teach them, to ah, to be king”.
 Presland: Licks lips, “Aha”? Looks up adoringly but simply at Ash/(Cunliffe)
Cunliffe: “But my place is here (in Housewares) so I swallowed the juice, said the words and here I am”.
Presland: “Did you say the words right this time”?
Well maybe I didn’t say every single tiny little syllable but here I am” .”
…………………… Uses the price sticker:
“Basically”.
Heroine: “You know that story of how you could have been King”?
Heroine:Â “I, ah”. Licks lips:
Heroine: “I think it’s kind of cute”.
Screaming and much breaking within Housewares. Annette King arrives: More screaming
Ash (Cunliffe) to Annette King: “Lady I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave the store”.
Annette King: “Who the hell are you”?
Name’s Ash/(Cunliffe).”Housewares”.
“King: “I’ll swallow your soul”.
Ash (Cunliffe)”Come get some”.
Ash(CUNLIFFE) Sure I could have stayed in the past Could have even been king”.
“But in my own way I am king”.
“Hail to the king baby”.
Army of Darkness 1992
