Agony Aunt/Nana

 Cactus Kate points out that Wendyl Nissen may be being a bit creative with her agony Aunt style column:
Cactus Kate: Faking It?

 CK does a deconstruction of the letters to prove her point and also casts a Gen XY version of what might be appropriate responses. These had me cracking up.
I am far too immature to touch any of the relationship queries from Wendyl’s mailbag. I’d be sitting here sniggering at the responses that come to mind. I might even post something wholly inappropriate in a fit of thrall at my own wit.
However, as luck would have it, a concerned Nana has also written in to Wendyl. I am sure I can address this with maturity and wisdom :

Hmmmmm. I’m already thinking “Twin Nana”, here has a little too much time on her hands. Alarm bells rang at the phrase, “my two beautiful twin grandaughters”. Too possessive.
But, wait, Wendyl’s response:

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong WRONG.
First of all Wendyl believes “Twin Nana’s”, observations are correct because she sympathizes with “Twin nana”. It strikes me that the lovely Wendyl is a young grandmother. Wendyl is yet to encounter an obstinate grandchild, a recalcitrant daughter-in-law or the low rat cunning of a modern teenager. She probably still retains the over-vigilance of a Mum of young children. The message should be: Chill out Nana.

My letter would read as follows:
 Dear Worried Nana,

Time to change your perspective. This is a wonderful thing about being a grandparent, you can sit back and observe.

Your input is not wanted so you don’t have to waste your efforts with a futile expenditure of energy. That is your daughter’s lot. At the risk of pointing out the obvious, stop visiting every day and you’ll stop finding fault.
Your daughter made her bed, lay in it, lay back and thought, “make me pregnant with baby Jesus”. Now it is her turn to deal with the puling brats.
You are no longer the mother of young children, your daughter is!
Heads up. One of those twins is a little toad. Mothers don’t say their beloved offspring are problem children unless they are being driven bat-shit crazy by an absolute brat. Your daughter needs someone to moan to in lieu of dinner out with her husband. And that may not happen regularly enough if hubby is banging the company secretary or obsessed with golf. So be a good Nana and gently uncork the top from a bottle of bubbly.
Point out that your daughter is a wonderful mother and you feel she should drink more top shelf spirits.
You may not drink yourself, but your daughter sure as hell needs to, to cope with Chucky 2.
If she is surprised, then that might be all it takes. Just pointing out that life is not fucking fair and how you’ve noticed she is neglecting herself, which is what all good mums do, will help no end.
Tell her you’d like to be able to babysit but it was hard enough raising her.
Most of all, ignore the bad child Рin fact ignore all the children including your own daughter.   Spending more time with the widower down the road could be a good start.

Disclaimer: My Nana is wonderful. When I grow up I would like to be like her. My Mum, Aunties and In-laws are also tremendous. Big ups for the great job they all did with their children.

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