Face-Off! Is Paul Holmes Arse?

Yes. But not for the reasons that Hone Harawira or Rawiri Taonui put forward.
He’s a cocksure, leering, gleeful, lovable arse. The older he has got, the more he seems to play the buffoon and the more we grow attached to him. He’s an aged champion we keep in pasture out of affection for previous legendary dressage performances. He employs the Queen’s English to interesting effect. It’s pure pleonasm. Redundant words are littered through his sentences like confetti at a first wedding. This is immediately obvious in his rant, “Waitangi Day A Complete Waste“:
“.Hatred rudeness and violence from a group of hateful hate-fuelled weirdos”. The pure tautology is close to follow. Waitangi Day: “It’s repugnant. It’s a “ghastly affair”.
Is there any other presenter to match him for the abundant use of tautology and inverted sentences.
I couldn’t say if it is overly premeditated, but it serves to characterize him, acting as a technicolour frame out of which he communicates to the lowly parvenu.
¬†He’s New Zealand’s Peter Griffin with a nobby overlay.¬†

We know he drinks fine wines with visiting cognoscenti and has a suitably appointed house and wife. They reek of good living, smiling at us from the pages of women’s magazines. ¬†But why we really like Paul Holmes is that we know he isn’t too plutey to vent like one of us. To call a spade a spade without beating around the bush. Sorry.
I bet he swears like a navvy when someone screws up his paper delivery. And ignoring racist undertones, his latest vent reflects a level of feeling in the population. There is¬†frustration with the feeling New Zealand is up against the Taniwha in the room:¬†“When will IT end”?
Humans like certainty and it’s unnerving knowing the same Waitangi events will roll around again next year like a lazy susan at a dim sum, serving up endless portions of self flagellation and dissatisfaction. It doesn’t mean we’re racist – I for one think the usual commentators such as Taonui are on the money. It was enjoyable to read Turia’s eloquent missive with her Open Letter To NZ.
And Hone Harawira served Holmes up on a platter nicely. 
I couldn’t say what the answer is, I am just a housewife. Too busy with kids for perfect grammar. I do know that it would be nice to feel welcome at a Marae on Waitangi Day. There is nothing my oldest loves more than putting down a hangi, as we did last year at his school. And maybe the answer for a better Feb 6th for the rest lies between the sheets:
A bit of sex. It’s a kiwi tradition to ‘get one over’ on birthdays and anniversaries. It’s a bonus at Christmas Time and I’ve heard of women thinking, “get me pregnant with the next baby J”, at Easter Time. ANZAC is far too maudlin for a romp; Queen’s B’day, who would dare?
On the next Waitangi Day, make it a tradition and drown out the protestors like patrons at a Christchurch brothel.

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